all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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