i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
