Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
