I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
