well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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