well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
there is puke in my bra ... again
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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