Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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