that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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