well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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