I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
