EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
