"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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