as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
