Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
