Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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