what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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