i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Randomize
