I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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