tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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