whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just blew my weed a kiss
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
