so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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