hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
