come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
