i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you made out with another girl for some wings
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
