Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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