writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
