It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
