planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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