You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
