I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
