my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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