i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
