chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
