So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
