He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
