"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
