listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
farters have to be the big spoon...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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