taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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