I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
