ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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