smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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