you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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