So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
