Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
