I just threw up on my dentist
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
