He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
