I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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