This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You're breaking my sexual little heart
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
