just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
