eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
